#17: Finding self in cyberspace
Imagining the inner monologue of a young Singaporean digital native.
Welcome to this week’s edition of SEAmplified! Your latest insights on Southeast Asian youth and youth politics in 4.8 minutes.
⌛This week in brief:
📌 We, the (digital) citizens of Singapore
😄Finding joy
Finding Joy examines how Southeast Asian youths define and pursue happiness, and how society can empower their search for happiness. We, the (digital) citizens of Singapore.
Midday. The basketball court just two blocks away from my apartment is empty again. In Singapore’s perpetual summer of forty-degree heat, nobody wants to play ball anymore.
Outdoor basketball, along with other open-air rituals, already took a hit during the COVID-19 pandemic. Shut in by the virus, we turned away from public spaces and physical activities towards the digital realm. Instead of basketball, swimming, or cross-fit, we spent days – no, months – on Animal Crossing and Mario Kart.
COVID-19 came and went, but some of us had already invested so much of ourselves online. It’s crazy to think that more than half of us get the jitters talking to someone in person – but spending two years of our lives finding bits and pieces of ourselves in online games and forums sounds much crazier.
Creating Personas
It’s not so bad, living vicariously through virtual avatars and memes. But most of us didn’t choose to live like this. COVID-19 didn’t give us a choice. Soon, climate change won’t either.
I feel lucky thinking about this – that I grew up playing block catching, police-and-thief, and table tennis during school hours. The worst that could happen was a stern rebuke from my form teacher for coming back to class all sweaty, not heat exhaustion or prolonged school closures.
But I also feel regret. There’s a sense of loss that comes from knowing that some things just don’t – or can’t – go back to the way they used to be. That loss hit home even harder for some of us after things “went back to normal” in 2023 when youth suicides hit a record high.
It’s like we’re looking into a mirror that has shattered because of a mishap. There’s no more perfect reflection, and we’re left to reassemble that image. The old pieces don’t fit anymore, and we’re left with cracks to fill.
But online, there’s no shortage of bits and pieces for us to pick and choose from. TikTok, Reddit, Instagram, even SGExams or HardwareZone. There’s a thread, a trend, or a group for any belief, any interest, any view under the sun.
So we curate and amalgamate the pieces that best convey our identities. Does that make our virtual identities inauthentic? That depends. Real life is a spontaneous mess, but our virtual personas fit right in with our digital lives. In cyberspace, we’re in the driver’s seat.
Finding Community
Regardless of how you think about virtual and real-life identities, you can’t deny that the feeling of belonging we crave is real.
The sun can take away our social spaces, but that won’t stop me from making friends with Paolo from Brazil, Sora from Japan, or Marcus from Australia. It’s funny though, how classmates and neighbors can feel more foreign than a face on a screen.
But that’s the thing, right? At the end of the day, we go where our people are. We crave validation from people with similar experiences, who value who we are and appreciate why we are who we are. In physical isolation, online communities became our only source of solidarity and support.
Sometimes these communities aren’t genuine, or overlap just a minuscule aspect of our lives. That’s fine. We just press a button, leave, and find somewhere else to go in 5 minutes. In real life, leaving isn’t so easy, and the baggage that comes with it feels heavier too.
On social media, we’re sheltered from discomfort. We also “snack” on the news, scrolling past headlines and advertising slogans alike. We might not know where the news comes from, but we trust in its endorsement by friends, or friends of friends.
Where Home Never Changes
At the end of the day, our digital lives make us feel more in control of things.
They’re stable and constant. These are communities that are easy to reach out to and won’t easily fade with time. In these well-defined spaces, there’s less need to worry about friendships outgrowing each other.
The world around us can become more challenging, but our digital lives still go on as per normal. Eco-anxiety looms large at the back of the mind, and virtual spaces are oases to soothe those troubling thoughts.
Maybe that control is an illusion. But it’s still a comforting one, especially in a country that cannot stand still and reserve a moment for us to remember and relax in.
The basketball court two blocks away? Nothing but a distant memory soon, once it’s bulldozed to make way for a new MRT line. But even in the time left, the court already sits empty on most days. It’s just too hot – or too wet – to really enjoy the game. Without the rowdy screams and excited jostling, it’s just a concrete husk.
That’s why we go online. Come rain or shine, we’ll live our virtual lives however we want.